Knights of a crooked table
by Pandoala
Summary: Fantasy AU. Atempt at humor. Series of extremly loosely tied togheter stories about the adventures and misshaps of our beloved Hetalia knights. Like how knight Arthur has a bad day, the reson why everyone is confused on knight Yao s gender and when the nordic robbers ended up babysitting. Will be updated when inspiration hits. Don t expect to much.
1. Chapter 1

_**Sucky Day For a Knight**_

 _ **This was probably the most**_ _ **suckiest**_ _ **day in knight Arthur`s whole life. First it shows out that the dragon he was supposed to defeat was just a hoax. Then he was attacked by the three robber barons Gilbert, Francis and Antonio. And just when he had gotten away with his life and the day can still be saved his "faithful" squire suddenly**_ _ **resigns**_ _ **because Arthur is "stoping him from becoming a real knight".**_

" _ **Have never heard anything so preposterous..." Arthur grumbled when he suddenly heard the sound that all travelling knights fear. Not the roaring of a dragon or the whining of a "fair" maiden. It was thunder. And true enough in the next minute the rain started to splash against his armour.**_

" _ **Worst day ever."**_

 _ **It took him almost half an hour to find a cave that he and the horse could take shelter in. As soon as Arthur had come in gotten off the horse he started to pull off his armour. Something that proved to be very difficult without a helper. He could almost feel how the**_ _ **rust**_ _ **was starting to bite into the armour. He got off the arm protections and the helmet but when he came to the chest and back plates he couldn't`t reach the straps. He tried to stretch himself, bite together, claw after the straps. In the end he lost his temper, picked up one of the arm protections and threw it hard into the cave wall with a loud clang.**_

" _ **GOBLIN TAKE YOU ALFRED! AND YOUR HAMSTER!"**_

 _ **His horse**_ _ **didn**_ _ **`t even raise an eyebrow if he would have any. That if something spoke about how often Arthur had these kinds of outbursts. But then the sound of a child giggling was heard in the cave. Arthur froze.**_

" _ **Hello. Is anybody there?"**_

 _ **The giggling became even louder and from an extended wall in the cave a boy on maybe twelve fell to the ground laughing.**_

" _ **Who are you?! How long have you been here?! And what is so funny?!" Arthur shouted angrily in a brave attempt to hide his fear. The boy gasped for air.**_

" _ **Your face!**_ _ **Hahaha**_ _ **! Priceless! And your hamster!"**_

 _ **Arthur sighed. Seemed like the boy**_ _ **wasn**_ _ **`t dangerous after all. Only very annoying.**_

" _ **What are you doing here?"**_

" _ **Same as you. Taking shelter from the rain." The boy answered.**_

" _ **Can`t you do that at home?" Arthur asked. He**_ _ **wasn**_ _ **`t exactly famous for being the most pleasant knight.**_

" _ **I don`t have a home." The boy answered as if it**_ _ **didn**_ _ **`t matter. Arthur bit his**_ _ **tongue**_ _ **in shame.. Time to change subject.**_

" _ **Can you help me get these off boy? I can`t reach the straps."**_

 _ **The boy happily got up from the cave floor and ran up to Arthur. In a couple of minutes he had loosened the last strap and helped Arthur out of the armour.**_

" _ **Thank you boy." Arthur said relived.**_

" _ **Name`s Peter, not boy." Peter said amused. Arthur took a look at Peter. He seemed to be a cheerful boy with nimble fingers if only a bit impolite. Not that different from himself on that matter.**_

" _ **Tell me, you**_ _ **wouldn**_ _ **`t happen to want to become my squire? I have a serious lack thereof at the moment. If you got the time of course."**_

 _ **Peter`s eyes began to shine. Everyone knew what it meant to be a squire. You where supposed to help the knight with a lot of things, follow him on a lot of exciting adventures and it was the easiest way to also become a knight to one day.**_

" _ **Yes! Absolutely! I got time!" he cheered.**_

 _ **Arthur**_ _ **couldn**_ _ **`t help but giggle.**_

" _ **Well then. Your first job shall then be to learn how to wipe an armour."**_

 _ **When they where done the weather had cleared and they got ready to leave.**_

" _ **Can I ride to?" Peter asked as Arthur got up in the saddle.**_

" _ **The knight and the squire are not actually supposed to ride on the same horse. But this once. Then we will have to get you your own horse." Arthur answered and helped Peter up. And then they where on their way.**_

" _ **Straighten your back! You sit as if you have never ridden a horse before."**_

" _ **I haven`t! How am I supposed to sit without falling off?!"**_

" _ **Hold on with your legs... Careful! We don`t want Mayflower to start galloping!"**_

" _ **Mayflower?"**_

" _ **..."**_

" _ **Are we going to go fight a dragon now?"**_

" _ **Maybe not today."**_

" _ **You are boring."**_

 _ **They had a long fighting friendship ahead of them.**_

I`m trying out a new spellcheck. Thoughts? Pandoala.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Who**_ _**is that guy?**_

 _ **Kiku**_ _ **wasn't sure when it had started, for all he knew it could have been going on for some time without him noticing. But one day he realised there was a man sleeping by his window. Now, as one of his majesty's wizards**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **had the perk of living in one of the castle towers. Which meant that his windows had a lovely little perch which he had filed with pillows and blankets so that he could relax there when he was having his evening tea. But this afternoon he realised that it would be rather hard to follow through unless the man in question didn't move away.**_

 _ ****_ _ **He spent another hour politely waiting for the man to wake up by himself. When this didn't seem to work he took a deep breath. And went over to gently shake him awake. Oh boy, he was rather large. Not only was he like most people taller than**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **but he was also rather muscular .**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **didn't want to make him angry.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"Excuse me. Sir. Would you please wake up?"**_ _ **  
**_ _ **This proved to be.. utterly useless. The man didn't even stir. When**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **tried to use more force, he snored.**_ _ **Kiku's**_ _ **hands shock as he took to his last resort. This was highly impolite, but it was necessary. He took the biggest spoon he owned and slammed it into his empty cauldron making it chime like a big bell. Now, finally the man slowly opened a bleary eye.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"Is it dinner?" He asked.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"No sir. May I ask, what are you doing in my chamber?"**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **asked shyly. The man took a moment as if he had to really contemplate the answer.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"Sleeping." He answered indifferently.**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **took a deep breath through his nose.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"But, don't you have a room of your own where you could do that?" He asked. Again the man seemed to contemplate this.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"That I have." He answered.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"I don't mean to sound rude but why don't you sleep there?"**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **asked with a certain measure of**_ _ **confusement.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"... Don't want to. Besides, it is comfortable here."**_ _ **  
**_ _ **Now it was**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **who stood quiet to contemplate how to answer. What did it actually harm that he slept here? Maybe he had troubles at home he wanted to escape by coming here?**_ _ **  
**_ _ **He was just about to declare his decision of letting him stay when he realised the man had fallen asleep again.**_

 _ ****_ _ **The following days he realised the man had made a habit of sleeping in his window. Every day he would come in without**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **noticing and nap among the pillows for hours. Occasionally, since**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **had initiated contact, he would wake up and talk to**_ _ **Kiku. Mostly about small extremely random and seemingly unimportant things (such as the pros and cons of wool socks).**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **also noticed that the man seemed to attract large amounts cats. Every day there would be a new one in his chambers, usually cuddling with his "guest". He didn't mind. As long as they didn't disturbed his works (which in all honesty when they did, he overlooked it). He liked cats. And just like that, the man in the window, who on the third day introduced himself as Herakles, grew on him.**_

 _ ****_ _ **However there was occasions when he still considered to politely ask Herakles to leave. This was one of those days. He was supposed to try out a new spell, a tricky one, and for that he would have liked to be alone. Not that Herakles company harmed in any way, he was currently dozing off with a cat by his side. Then suddenly, just as**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **added another line to the spell work he was drawing on the floor Herakles suddenly flew from his resting place with catlike agility, moving faster than any man**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **had ever seen. He lifted**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **away from the pattern and cowered him with his arm while facing the spell work.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"**_ _ **Wha..!"**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **squeaked before a massive amount of magic energy rose from the pattern. It was like a living being, but made solely from magic. And Herakles stood now in it's way.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"Move! Let me..!"**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **shouted terrified but Herakles just stretched out his hand towards the being. What happened next looked the most to**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **like Herakles just pressed the being back down into the pattern. Once the magic seemed to have settled Herakles proceeded to wipe away the pattern from the floor.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"Who are you? What are you?"**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **whispered breathless.**_

 _ **Herakles gave him a worried glance before lifting**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **up again and carrying him (under flustered protests) to the window. He then simply settled him down and laid a cat in his lap.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"When working with magic, one need helpers. Beings who works in the magic itself. You need to know these helpers very well, and trust them like your own hand." Herakles spoke. Though it was more than he usually spoke he seemed to be fumbling for words.**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **tried to make sense of it when Herakles finally looked him straight the eyes. His olive green eyes seemed to shine with an ethereal light.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"You have never trusted me." Herakles stated without any tone of accusation.**_

 _ ****_ _ **"You are my helper?"**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **asked. "I didn't even know you existed."**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"You never noticed me." Herakles stated calmly.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"But, you are here. In physical form?"**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **asked confused. Shouldn't he be more like the being that just had disappeared through his floor?**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"You need to see me. Learn to know me, trust me." Herakles said suddenly putting weight on his words.**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **suddenly felt like crying. His helper had been forced to take physical form, because he had been blind and not noticed him. But as if feeling Kiku`s distress**_ _ **Herakles placed his hands over**_ _ **Kiku's.**_ _ **  
**_ _ **"You are going to be a great wizard." He said so convincingly**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **almost believed in him. And then he smiled. The first smile**_ _ **Kiku**_ _ **saw from his otherwise tired face. And he couldn't help but smile back.**_


End file.
